Tuesday, March 01, 2005


OK, so this morning I had my scheduled mammogram. :( I was apprehensive about going, knowing that they were going to be tugging and contorting a part of my body that was already in pain! I went into the office (another very nice place I might add, see "Pain in the....), signed up and waited to be called back. While I was waiting, the receptionist gave me a pamphlet describing how they use these things called "mammopads". These mammopads supposedly cushion your breast while they are being squeezed within an inch of their life .... yeah ... roight that'll work!

A very nice nurse (?) calls me back and we begin the process. The assistant walks over and attaches this foam like pad about 1/8" thick to the metal plate. [nurse: "Ok, arch your back, but make sure your hips are lined up facing that away ... ok, now raise you arm .. uh huh that's right, just rest your hand on your head ... ok now look the other way and pull the other shoulder back."] All while the assistant is pushing, tugging and contorting a sensitive part of your anatomy into place. YEEEEOOOOOCH!!!!! [nurse again while she is stepping on the foot pedal that brings the two flat pieces together to squash you: "Yeah, perfect, right there, now don't move and hold your breath."]

The nurse pushes the button and with a sigh of relief you are released. Then she says, "OK, now let's do it again vertically." Nooooooooooo! You grit your teeth and make it through another one only to discover that a third picture is necessary ... yep cat-a-corner shot. I was like, "WHAT, you've got to be kidding?" You make it through the last shot ... red, scraped and silent, having had hands in places no one goes without being intimate. {shiver} Damn torture device is what it is!!! By the way, that mammopad ... well it sucks!

Well the mammogram ordeal is over and the doctor read it on site, declaring that everything looked normal. So now I'm at a loss ... the mammogram is normal, my heart is fine, my lungs are fine and after a week of anti-inflammatory medication... I'm still hurting. :( I see more doctor visits in my future.

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