To The Dawgs!

Not the best picture in the world, but this is our Gentleman Jake.  He wasn't having much fun this day.  He was chained in the front yard while my son was mowing the back.  I hope to get some better pictures of the animals soon.

Jake was on my mind today.  I was up and down last night unable to sleep and he was whining because he could hear me and wanted company.  I have not felt well and He has been a bit neglected lately.  I have not been able to go outside as much and lavish him with love and good skritches.

Huh?

Well I was back in the ER Friday night.  I had felt blah all week and Friday was pretty bad, but I had been working longer hours due to training.  So I thought I was just overtired ... boy I wish.

By the time I got home I was hurting so bad that I was vomiting in the front yard.  My son ran inside to get my S/O.  He took me to the ER and sat with me through the night.  I know some people who have passed kidney stones with little pain ... I'm jealous!

For me, both times the pain has been worse than any labor pains could think to be. I don't like to fall apart in front of others, but these boogers made me do it.

They finally released me in the wee hours of Saturday morning.  Why no I don't remember the time, they had just given me a double dose of pain meds. 

Whhheeeeeeeeeeeee!

The CRT or whatever showed that the stone was almost through it's course, so they pumped me full of pain and nausea meds and sent me home.  It was the first time I hadn't hurt since 6 pm including with the pain meds.  Needless to say I was exhausted and passed out when I got home.

When I woke up later I felt no pain, but was very tired and dehydrated.  I took it easy the rest of the weekend and tried to drink lots of fluids.  Sunday when I woke up all my muscles around my rib cage and back hurt due to all the vomiting.

They still hurt today.

I'm back at work, but boy did I want just one more day of taking it easy.

Loss

I read the following poem at Curse Of The Invisible Illness and it resonated.  I thought I would share it with you today.

After a While

by Veronica Shoftsall

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning, and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, and presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure;

You really are strong, you really do have worth;

And you learn, and you learn

With every goodbye you learn.

Really?!

I have probably made every one of these faces more than once ... more than twice ... hell who's kidding a LOT in the last couple of months.  The company I work for was purchased by a larger company and while I think the benefits to this will be many, getting everything moved over is a complicated PIB!

It just seems like everything from Payroll changes to choosing our new Medical benefits etc is way more complicated than it needs to be.  It's difficult to locate the information you need.  Data is on two or three different websites.  It takes multiple tries to get anything set up.  Just a PAIN.

I've finally just about finished most of that and now we are changing over to their software programs over the next three months.  I'm dreading to see how complicated this is going to be.

{big sigh}

OK, I'll quite griping now about work, because actually I like my job and I like the people I work with.  I just wish this change would have happened with fewer complications.

So, I hope that everyone had a great Christmas and a peaceful New Year.  I didn't push myself or stress out this year and I can tell the difference ... Big Time.  I had four days off for Christmas and another four days off for New Years. 

It was FABULOUS!

I could soooo get used to that.  But no rest for the wicked, gotta make the dough to pay those bills ... LOL!

Hugs to everyone and may laughter bowl you over.

Fly-By

Christmas was great.  We had fun, visited, ate to much and caught up on sleep.  I've been extremely busy with "end of month" stuff here at work, so there's not been much time to post.  I'll post details later.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I'm not quite there yet, but I can feel the light twinkling of some Christmas spirit.  I have smiled more today and have been wishing all my co-workers a Merry Christmas. 

I feel a lighter. 

I hope this continues on through tomorrow.  I'm hoping to have a wonderful meal with my family and enjoy their company and watch them open their gifts. 

My boss just told us to finish up whatever we are working on and head home.  Ha, yep I was working ... working on this post ... LOL!

I hope that you all take the time to remember what Christmas is all about.  I also wish you all a peaceful, joyfully happy Christmas.

Melancholy Christmas

I thought I was doing better this year, but the "grinchyness" hit me.  I've been battling this "grinchyness" for days now.  Then last Friday, my boyfriends brother-in-law passed away.  It was horrible and sad.  I had not known David for very long, but he was a nice man.  He liked to make people laugh.

He leaves behind numerous people who are grieving his loss.  There's not much I can do for any of them except hug them tight and reassure them that while this will always be painful, it does get better.  Very slowly, but it does.

I lost the kindest, sincerest, loving friend anyone could ever have on December 31st 1999 ... My MOM.  It was devastating and we all had an extremely difficult time in our grieving.  It is still painful sometimes to think about the loss, but it brings a smile to think about my Mom.

David's death has not only brought the loss of a friend and the reality that we are never promised the next day, hour, minute but has opened the wound of the loss of my Mom.  My Mom LOVED Christmas and I should make more of an effort, because I know she would want me to. 

I may not have Christmas decorations up at home; but, I baked this year.  My Granny and Mom both enjoyed cooking and baking, I used to.  So if you stop by, there may be no twinkling lights, but there is my Granny's recipe Pumpkin Bread.

Out dang Grinchyness ... out I say.

I'm a Grinch

I don't know about you, but I thought I was doing good with the Christmas spirit this year.  But it seems that Grinchness has swallowed me whole.  I've been a gripey, grumpy, mean ole heifer this week and I can't see to claw my way clear of this funk.

We have had big changes this year at my job, that will be culminating the first quarter of next year and anxiety is getting to me.  There are some family financial issues that I need to stop procrastinating on and just find the time to do it.  I also have been having some medical issues that I keep pushing aside to take care of everyone else.

It's time to try and destress this coming weekend, get my thoughts together, make a plan of action and then DO IT.

If I survive my Grinchness.

Or my co-workers and family do.

I need a Nap

Tired, I'm just so tired. 

This is the first year in quite a few years that I am in the "Holiday Spirit."  But the Holiday season is busy and cram packed full of things to do.  Of course, I always try to do too much.  Last week I just kept going and going, like I thought I was the Energizer bunny or something; until my body finally slammed me to a HALT and said no more.

Yep it caught up to me and I stayed horizontal most of Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  Then Tuesday night I had to keep Dad up til midnight, then wake him back up at 3 a.m.  Dad needed to be sleep deprived for his EEG test on Wednesday morning, so guess who else was sleep deprived. 

Uh Huh, that would be ME. 

So after running myself to the point of exhaustion shutdown and then participating in the sleep deprivation, I'm in a "flare" revival. 

Everything and I do mean everything has flared. 

Digestive system,
fibro,
sjorgrens ...

it ain't pretty people. 

I still have a few gifts to get for Christmas and I'm trying to spread it out over the next week to conserve energy.  I don't think I'm going to get everything done, especially the decorating, because...

while my house is not decorated, my work cubicle is.

Thankful

The week before last, one of my Aunt's passed away from lung cancer.  I was not fortunate enough to have spent much time with her and her family, but what I remember about her is her kindness.  Other than my Mom, she was one of the kindest people I've ever known.  I grieve for and with her three sons and many grandchildren and family.  She will be greatly missed.

Thanksgiving was a very thought provoking day as all the things in my life that I am grateful for ran through my brain.  I'm thankful that I've been here to see my son grow up.  He will be 20 this weekend and I love him and am proud of him.  I'm thankful for my family, friends and that my health is not as bad as it could be.

I pray that all of you have many things to be thankful for and that this next year brings many blessings into your life.

Love and Big Hugs,

Hallelujah!  It appears that the stone has passed.  When and where I do not know, but hallelujah it is gone.  I hope that this post finds everyone doing well.  At this point in time me and mine are doing pretty dang well.

Hugs,
Karen

Update

I don't have much time today as I am swamped at work, but wanted to post a couple of updates.

1.  First of all we finally received all the paperwork on the 5 hour neurological testing that Dad had taken almost a month ago.  My Aunt L is coming tomorrow to take Dad into his regular doctor.  The visit is to go over the results and to start the referral process with his insurance company.  The referral will be to go see a geriatric neurologist to verify and treat the Parkinson's.  I hope that the doctor will be able to help some with the symptoms.

2.  Myrtle (my truck) only needed new battery cables and a new battery.  Not too awfully much money and WoooHooo, she's back on the road.  However my car now needs to have the plugs and cables changed out on it.  :(

3.  I'm feeling pretty good this week and the weather is wonderful.  This past weekend was beautiful, it makes me wish I had a large table outside on the porch to sit and eat supper.

I hope you are all have a good week.
Blessings.

On The List

Yesterday is fairly high on my list of worst day ever.

I think everything I have flared up in about a 6 hour window of time.  I awoke in the wee hours of the morning Thursday hurting no matter how a lay in the bed.  A hour or so later the gastric paresis crap set in and then a short time later this sparked the IBS.

I spent half of the day laying in the bed crying and the other half knocked out as a side affect of the combined meds.  J has never seen it this bad and really wanted me to go to the ER.  I've been here before and know I can just ride it out. 

Our ER's around here are so busy that it's hours and hours before you are seen.  I'd much rather be miserable, crying and in pain laying in my own bed, then in a hard plastic chair in a cold ass waiting room.  There's really not that much the doctors could do that I don't have meds for myself ... so I stayed home.

J?  He went outside to fiddle around with different projects because he can't stand to see me cry.  He asked me to text him or send my son out to get him if I changed my mind about going in.  Sweet Man, I love you.

Every time I was awake I was worrying about my job.  I'm in accounting and the end of the month is massive deadlines for us.  My wonderful boss got me a short reprieve for my 5 p.m. deadline that evening, until noon today. 

Yes I'm at work today.

Tired, foggy brained, still in some pain ... but here.

I really hope I feel much better this weekend.  The weekend here is supposed to be absolutely beautiful and I would like to be able to enjoy it as much as possible.

I hope you all have a wonderfully blessed weekend!

I Confess

O_O  Uh Huh, whatever it is you think I'm confessing .... STOP.


I confess that I love my old truck ... not only do I love her ... yes I said her ... but I've also named her.


Please meet Myrtle ...

She's small and hard working ... and dirty right here.  Dang she needed a bath, but this was a picture for my new insurance company. 

My truck and I have been through a lot together.  She has almost 300,000 miles o_O  This weekend she broke down and J is trying to figure out what's wrong with her.  I hope it's something relatively easy and inexpensive to fix.  I know the old girl probably doesn't have many months years left in her, but I plan on keeping her til the very end.

I don't drive her much anymore because she is a stick.  Most days I'm unable to drive a stick shift any longer.  I miss it!

Keeping fingers crossed that she is fixable.

It's a Mess

About a month ago, my Dad had a 5 hour neurological test with a Neurophsychiatrist.  At the follow-up visit she stated that I needed to get a Texas Durable Medical Power of Attorney and a Texas Durable Financial Power of Attorney completed for Dad.  She also stated that I should be able to locate the forms online for free ...


Yeah.  Right.


I have found lots of sites with lots of information, but to get the form cost $ ... that I don't have.  I'm going to keep looking, but it looks like I may have to call a local attorney that we know to see how much he would charge.  At least that way I would know that it is completed correctly.


I detest wading in the legal stuff.  It is a maze of madness.

So, I went to see Cowboys and Aliens last night at our small local movie theatre.  Although many of you have already seen this movie, it had been forever since I had been to the movies and I needed to get out.  Normally I make plans to go and then have to cancel.  This time I was determined to go.

Anyway, back to the movie.

It was decent, but then again I like science fiction movies and I love me some cowboys.  My cowboy Jack came with me, even though he is not particulary fond of science fiction.  I kept glancing over at him to judge his reaction.  I caught him laughing a few times, though he won't admit it now.  :D

The movie was slightly disjointed (right word?) at the beginning.  The characters would feed you bits of information or you would be shown things in bits and pieces.  If you catch them, then the movies starts making much more sense about a third of the way in.

There were some funny bits, some of them I don't believe were intentionally humorous.  All in all the movie was interesting and funny.  I had a nice time out with my honey, even though I was hurting by the time we left. 

I hope you all have a fantastic holiday weekend.  At my house we will be taking it easy and enjoying the time off.

Parkinson's

Dad and I saw the specialist last Thursday and she went over all of his test results with us.  She believes that Dad has Parkinson's and said that Dad needs to go see a regular Neurologist.  She said that in some rare cases that Parkinson's can include hallucinations/dementia.  I've spent the last few days pouring over medical websites and have found mention of this in only a few places.  Parkinson's Disease Foundation says this, "cognitive issues, such as memory difficulties, slowed thinking, confusion and in some cases, dementia".

The specialist is sending her report to Dad's PCP and a copy to us.  As soon as his PCP gets the copy, we will see if we have to go in and see them first, or if they will go ahead and start working on the referral to the neurologist.  Neither Dad of I are looking forward to all the doctor visits and test, but at least we have a starting point now.

The absolutely hardest part of the entire meeting, was the doctor explaining to Dad that he is no longer considered competent to make his own financial and medical decisions.  Whew that was very emotional for both of us.  My Dad is so independent and is struggling to hang on to as much of it as possible.

So now there are some legal issues to take care of.  Actually Dad seems more at ease with that aspect of things.  What is getting his goat is that I have to watch him take his meds now.  He absolutely hates that.  He kept taking it before I got in there.  I think we may have it worked out now, at least I hope so.

Well I have lots of catchup work to get done today, so I had better stop here.  We appreciate your well wishes, blessings and prayers.